the winter i turned intelligent: chapter 2 (pt. 1)

Important Note from Dreamy Plots & Story Talks: This story contains suggestive language and sexual content and is only suitable for readers that are 18+.

Chapter 2 (part 1):

“Ughhh what the fuck is that? Okay, OKAY, wait shit!”

It was Trusky calling. Half asleep and fully annoyed I said, “You just-”

 Trusky immediately started speaking when I answered, “I’ve been calling you since 8? Why weren’t you answering? And what happened to you last night? I turned around, and you were gone, no text, nothing. Are you okay? Is everything okay? And I need your help for something for tonight. I have a plan on how to talk to Natasha.”

 I didn’t hear a word he just said, so I finished my original sentence, “you just woke me up.”

He continued, “What? You wake up at 5 am on the dot every day, even when you go on a vacation, one of the many unrealistic things about you that has me convinced you’re from Mars or some shit, and it’s 9 now. Wait- oh I knew it! It was Bailey, wasn’t it? I knew some stupid shit would happen with her there. I told Jessica it was a bad idea for her to come. She never listens to me.” Bailey was the name Trusky had assigned to Belly whenever he was pissed at something she would say or do, which was pretty often. “Wanna tell me what’s going on bro?”

He was right. I never woke up later than 6 am at the latest. It was just what I liked to do to make the most of my day, especially since I’ve had to balance school and work the past few years with my personal life. “No, I’m very sorry for leaving like that. I should have texted you. There’s just a lot going on right now. I’ll explain everything tonight, I promise.”

He sounded concerned, and I appreciated it, “Jeremiah don’t worry about it. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I got nervous since you’re not one to do something without telling me first, another thing that has me convinced you’re-”

Once again, I interrupted him, “Trusky, I get it thank you for the compliments.”

I was being an ass right now, I know. It wasn’t just the lack of sleep. To be honest, I didn’t like compliments that much anymore. I used to eat that shit up when I was a teenager. Now it made me feel suppressed. I think this was connected to my personal experiences, mainly from my relationship with Belly. People can compliment me as much as they want, but right now, it seems everything I am will never be good enough for her, and she’s not even doing it on purpose. How could I be that great then? I know what I just said isn’t right and that my worth is not defined by what she thinks of me or by what anyone thinks of me for that matter, but three years of being constantly around someone for your younger years can have that effect on you, unfortunately. I’m working on changing that though. It’s ironic how the younger me, the wilder, more carefree version, lived for those compliments. In retrospect, he looked like he could care less what anyone thought of him, but that was further from the truth. I always tried to be the happy and optimistic one, regardless of the circumstance, and in many ways, I think I’m still like that, even though I’m trying not to be.

Trusky tried his best to make me smile, “Jeremiah is not in a good mood.”

I smiled, “that he is not.”

He continued, “Trust me, you will feel better once you eat. Meet me at the diner in an hour. The Avengers are assembling for breakfast.” Trusky called our friend group The Avengers because he was obsessed with Marvel: Carlos, Zac, Jessica, Ashley, and Matt. Carlos and Matt were high school friends of Trusky’s, Zac was my friend from Finch, Jessica was my friend from Duke, and Ashley was her best friend. Carlos and Zac had been dating for a year now. Their relationship is what I wanted, a mutual respect and adoration for each other. Jessica had a crush on Trusky, but Trusky was oblivious to it.

This was more up my speed than the party last night. “Okay I’ll be there, but I got no sleep.”

I could tell Trusky smiled, “And I bet you still look sexy as hell.”

I laughed. “Goodbye Trusky.” I correct what I said earlier, Trusky and Hazel could both make me smile no matter how shitty I felt.

After the call, I did what any heartbroken, sleep deprived, and slightly delirious guy would do. I turned on Apple Music and played loud alternative music while I got ready. I would probably hear about this from my neighbors tomorrow, but I didn’t care. The loud music helped drown out all the noise I was hearing amidst this frustrating silence. I chose “Can’t Stop” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, because their music always put me in a good mood.

After the first chorus, I changed my mind. I didn’t want to listen to feel-good loud music anymore. I shuffled my rainy-day playlist. I wanted to listen to sad, depressing shit.

Did I want to feel worse than I already did? No.

It’s just the most cathartic feeling when you listen to the gloomiest song, and you relate to the words so well in that moment, whether you want to or not that it somehow slightly alleviates the pain you’re feeling. I took a shower, dried my hair, and wore my brown cable knit sweater and blue jeans.

I gave Hazel her breakfast and a kiss and was headed out the door. The inside of my car was freezing, so I turned on the heater right away and started driving. 

I wanted to forget last night ever happened. No, I wanted to forget that night two weeks ago ever happened. Why did she kiss me earlier that night if she was thinking of him later? I didn’t want space from Belly, but I knew I needed it. I wanted space because now I was questioning her motives. I felt as though she didn’t mean half of the things she said to me anymore. I used to think I could read her mind, what we called our ESP, and maybe at some point, but clearly that was all bullshit now. When she kissed me, I would forget about all my doubts, but how long would I keep lying to myself? At this point, it’s on me now. I cannot keep blaming her when I’m choosing to stay in this relationship. I have accountability here and a choice as well. I hate that all I could think about was all the times we’ve kissed and how many of them she actually meant? That could have been the only moment she thought of him. Maybe, but if it happened once, how could I know it hadn’t happened before? This made me feel sick. The way she tried to deny it made me feel even worse. Did she really think I was that dumb or that I couldn’t handle the truth? I tried to sing along to the music to distract myself from reality.

When I got to the diner, they were all already at the booth we always sat in. Trusky saw me first and immediately said, “I take that back, you looked much better last night. My man, what happened to you? Tell me what Bailey did this time.”

I gave him an annoyed look. “Let me eat something first.”

Jessica handed me a menu, “Don’t listen to him, you look great.”

I tried to fake a cheerful smile. Zac looked at Carlos and tried to start a new subject, “Trusky is in love with this lady, and he cannot shut up about her.” I glanced over at Jessica who was sitting across from me. Her facial expression shifted a little. I felt for her. She tried to look like she didn’t care, but I knew she did. I knew exactly how she felt because that’s how I felt rather still feel at times around Belly.

Trusky began to explain, “I have a favor I need from you please.”

I hesitated, “What is it?”

Trusky gave the biggest smile, “I need you to help me talk to Natasha.”

I looked at him confused, “Who?”

Trusky’s face fell, “Are you serious bro, I told you all about her last week...”

I felt guilty all over again. How did I miss this?

Luckily, Trusky kept explaining, “You know how I’ve been on a falafel kick recently?” I nodded my head. “I’m on a mission to try all the falafel that North Carolina has to offer. There’s this new Greek and Mediterranean place called, Bouras Gyros, and there’s this stunning girl that works there, and I think she might like me as well.”

I was confused, “How could you tell?”

He clarified, “When I was in line the first time I went there, we made this eye contact, you should have seen it, it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. When I went the second and third time, she was so funny and kind to me when I was in line again. She just seems like a really cool girl, and we for sure had a connection, I know it.”

Matt snorted and Carlos was shaking his head while laughing. Jessica looked annoyed, and Ashley and Zac weren’t even listening, while reading their menus.

I tried not to sound sarcastic but failed, “And you got all that from standing in line at a fast-food place?”

Trusky repeated himself, “I’m telling you we had a connection, and I can feel it, this is my time, I’m ready for something serious.”

Now I felt even worse for Jessica who kept trying to look like she was unbothered by all of this.

I wanted to be supportive though because I was happy he was this happy, “Man I’m happy for you, that’s really cool, I still don’t get how I fit into this scenario though.”

He was hopeful again, “I want you to go to the place and invite her to the Halloween party for me tonight. Use your ocean blue eyes but not too much. We don’t want her falling in love with you now, okay?”

Zac added, “Maybe you could wear sunglasses?”

Carlos shook his head, “No, no, he should wear those boots I got him for his birthday.” Then he glared at me at the last part “because he clearly thinks they look awful since he’s rudely never worn them yet.”

Matt kept laughing, “You guys are idiots.”

I turned to Trusky, “I don’t get why you don’t just go talk to her. You’re way more charming than me bro.”

He smiled, “I know that.”

I laughed, and he clarified, “It’s just that I don’t want to sound odd that I’m inviting her to a Halloween party as a first date when I only order falafel from her. That shit would be weird.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “Got it, so you want me to sound odd?”

He put his hand on my arm, “Yes exactly, now you get it!”

I stared at him for a second, “You know what I’ll do it.”

Everyone at the table looked surprised. Was I that predictable? I wasn’t expecting them all to not expect me to say yes, so this made me laugh inside. I almost forgot about last night for a second.

Trusky gave me the biggest hug, “Thank you man!”

I hugged him back, “Only because I need something to distract me right now, and this is so insane that it works.”

I hadn’t seen him this excited before, “Yes thank you! Finally Bailey made a positive change around here.”

I glared at him, and I could tell he felt bad. “Sorry, whatever she said or did this time, it’s fine, okay? You two are always fine. She’s damn smart enough to know she can’t do better, so she won’t let you go, but the minute you do, my man, I will be proud of you because you can do so much better, like so, sooo much better.”

I had no energy to even get annoyed at that last part. I tried to give a hopeful smile, but even I wouldn’t believe myself. The entire table tried to mirror back my weak smile, but I knew what they were all thinking. For once, I felt the same way as them. I tried to see the bright side of things for the better part of my life, but somehow right now, I couldn’t picture a happy ending to this. I could picture it now, Belly would try to convince me everything with us was fine and apologize, and even I would apologize, but then what? Something shifted in me that night. Since then, I haven’t been able to see her the same way as before. When I look at her now, I don’t see the woman I fell in love with. It’s a bittersweet feeling because I still love her, but I see through her now.

When our food arrived, everyone forgot what they were talking about and dug into their plates. Normally these chocolate chip pancakes looked unreal- they still did- but I had no appetite. I ate one pancake and drank five cups of coffee to keep me awake for tonight. I was planning on taking a nap before the party, but now that I had to go to the Greek place, I needed the caffeine to fuel my energy before I passed out again.

 Ashley asked Jessica, “Is Taylor still dressing up with us?”

I didn’t know about this. Was I really this out of it these past few weeks? I guess so.

Carlos looked at her, “Yeah she is, but Belly isn’t going to the party.”

Jessica looked surprised, and Ashley looked indifferent, but they both said, “Really, why isn’t Belly going?” I was surprised as well. Belly didn’t tell me about this, and now I realized we hadn’t spoken since last night. It made sense why she didn’t tell me though, given that I asked for space.

Zac said to Carlos, “How did you know this when they didn’t even know?”

Carlos replied, “because I am the only one here who uses their ears.”

Then Carlos looked at me and said, “I saw you two kiss last night by the way.”

My face and heart both fell together.

Carlos was the one in our group who noticed everything, heard everything, and saw everything. He could be a detective, and if you wanted to know the latest gossip or didn’t want to know the latest gossip, he knew it and would make sure you knew it as well.

To my dismay, Carlos continued, “that was a very steamy kiss. Not gonna lie, it looked like a movie kiss, like a scene from The Notebook or something. He glared at his boyfriend, “Zac, why didn’t you kiss me like that last night?”

Zac choked on his water, “Okay I’ll remember that for tonight”

Carlos winked at him, “Good.”

Ashley looked at me suspiciously and said, “So you’re not going to ask Belly to come then?”

They didn’t know about how I told Belly I needed space.

I tried but failed to sound calm, “Uh, no I’m not going to. If she wants to go, then she can go. It’s not my business.”

Ashley wasn’t convinced, “You sure you didn’t break up?”

I broke eye contact, “Yeah, I’m sure.” I wasn’t sure about anything right now, but I wanted this conversation to end.

Just so I didn’t have to face anymore Belly related questions, I finished my coffee, gave my share of the check, and explained how the Greek place would get busy, since it was Halloween. Even though I lied, it honestly sounded valid because it could have been true. They could have been busy with lots of take-out or catering orders today. Trusky gave me a hug, and it felt nice. Before I left, he also asked me to make sure to order falafel for his party as well when I went there. Then, I drove home first.

When I got back, Belly wasn’t home still. Even though I asked for space, Belly didn’t text me or call to say where she would spend the night, and now I was worried. I wanted to make sure she was safe, so I called her. I didn’t want to talk to her and wanted to just send her a text, but I knew the right thing would be to call. It went to voicemail, so I went to text her and noticed I had one unread message from her from this morning that I was surprised I missed:

“Hey, just letting you know I went home with Taylor and spent the night. I’m not going to the party tonight. I have a lot of emails to get back to anyways, but enjoy your night, and Happy Halloween 🎃.”

Yeah, it was the happiest Halloween alright. I responded to her:

“Thank you for letting me know, just called I got worried. I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner. I passed out when I got home. Enjoy your night as well, Happy Halloween 🎃.”

 I almost added, “feel free to come home whenever you’d like,” but you know when you’re about to send a message and then you delete the entire thing? That was me right now. I was so in my head and second guessing everything I would say or do around her and felt I was quite literally walking on eggshells. Also, this was just as much her home as it was mine, and she didn’t need my permission to come home.

I decided to go on a run to the Greek place since I checked my Google Maps, and it was only a few miles away. Running always made me feel better, and it’s played a significant role in releasing a lot of my anxiety the past year or so. I changed into my navy running shorts and Duke thermal. Even though the air was cold, I took off my shirt and placed it in the waistband of my shorts. I put in my AirPods and started running. I loved the cold air against my skin. Even though there was the initial discomforting shock of it, it made me feel more alive almost, like the same feeling as stepping into an ice bath. The thing I love most about running though was that when I played music all I focused on was the song and my run, and I would forget everything going on in my life. When I finally got to Bouras Gyros, I put my shirt back on and went inside.

Wow was I wrong, the place was empty. Even though, I wasn’t hungry, I can’t lie, the place smelled amazing. I needed to try their food one day. I was surprised I’d never been here before. I wasn’t even sure if they recently opened or not. Their food smelled like home. Home, something I didn’t know the meaning of anymore. I didn’t even see one employee there. Were they even open? I was about to leave when I heard a voice say, “Hi, can I help you?”

I turned around and said, “Um, yeah, hi, I wanted to order something.”

She replied, “Great let me know if you have any questions about our menu. Is this your first time here?”

I was still trying to catch my breath from the run, “Um yeah, uh, what’s your name?” I realized how odd this question was after I said it, but I blame everything I said today from a lack of sleep, and in my defense, she wasn’t even wearing a name tag.

Her eyes widened, “What? Why?”

I tried to act smooth, “I was just wondering.”

She answered, “Natasha, what’s your name?”

I smiled awkwardly, “Jeremiah.”

She looked less than amused, “Okay…well now that we got that odd conversation over with, are you ready to order?”

I already couldn’t see her and Trusky together, but she was his physical type that’s for sure. She looked about 5’7’’, with long dark brown tight curls, indigo sparkling blue eyes, and olive tan skin.

I replied, “Yeah, I’ll have the falafel plate please, Also, are you free tonight?”

Now her eyes narrowed, “What? You are the strangest person I think I’ve ever met.”

Well, that was the first time anyone said this to me. “Then you haven’t met enough people.” Normally I wouldn’t speak like this to someone I just met, but for some reason in this very moment, I didn’t care if that sounded rude. I know I sounded strange and maybe a little annoying too, but I don’t know, something about her was even more annoying. “I was wondering if you would like to come to my friend’s Halloween party tonight? He thinks you’re cute and has this crush on you and he wanted me to invite you.”

Now she gave a condescending smile, “Right, and does this friend of yours happen to be you?”

I defended, “What, no, it’s actually my friend, I’m engaged.”

She looked at my ring finger, “Where’s your ring then?”

I looked at my left hand. “Okay not all men wear engagement rings, and I left it at home.” I must have taken it off when I got home from the beach last night because I wanted to throw it in the ocean earlier. Now a wave of panic hit me at the thought of potentially losing it.

She snorted, “How convenient. What’s her name then?”

I don’t know why I was even answering her, “Belly.”

She sarcastically replied, “Belly? You don’t need to make up a name now.”

Now I was insulted. I loved Belly’s name, “Excuse me, but don’t make fun of my fiancé like that. She has a beautiful name. Her name is actually Isabel, and I call her Bells- wait what am I doing? I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

She replied in a pompous voice, “I never said you did, you’re the one that got all defensive.”

Okay, what was Trusky thinking? When I had more sleep, I needed to talk some sense into him, but for now I made a promise, and I had to keep it. I already felt bad that I hadn’t even listened to him the first time he spoke about her.

She questioned, “And if it is your ‘friend’ who’s inviting me, why did he send you? Why didn’t he come here himself and ask me?”

I tried to think what to say, “He was shy.”

She didn’t buy it, “He was shy?”

I tried to sound more convincing, “Yes he was shy. Now that we’ve established that he was shy, would you maybe want to go then? You can bring a friend if you’d like to.”

She smiled, “That’s very thoughtful of you,” then stopped smiling, “but I want him to ask me because I still think you’re lying.”

I was getting annoyed, “I already told you I’m engaged.”

She looked annoyed as well, “Don’t flatter yourself. I got it you’re engaged, congratulations, but how do I know you’re not making this up as a prank with this friend of yours? For all I know, this could all be a joke. You’re a stranger to me.”

I didn’t think about that, and she had a point, “Okay fair enough, but I’m not making it up, look this is his picture. His name is Trusky, and he’s the best guy I know. He didn’t want you to think he was trying to come off as just flirty because he genuinely wants to get to know you and I can tell he’s serious because he’s said it a few times already.”

She was surprised, “I remember him. He comes in and buys falafel all the time. I didn’t know he liked me?”

I was relieved, “Like I said, he’s shy.”

She rolled her eyes. What’s hilarious is that Trusky was the furthest thing from shy, but she would find that out soon enough. “So do you want to go then?”

She looked at me and said, “No I don’t, but I would maybe consider it if you FaceTime him right now.”

I was surprised, “Are you serious?”

She was also surprised, “Are you serious?”

I sighed, “Okay, fine.” I tried calling Trusky, “He’s not answering.”

Mockingly, she said, “Your case is not looking good here Jeremiah, not that it was looking good before.”

I wanted this conversation to end, “Okay you know what? It’s fine, never mind. Sorry to bother you. Happy Halloween.” Then I left.

I was a block away when I realized I forgot Trusky’s falafel for the party. Shit. I did not want to go back there. I have never in my entire life spoken to a stranger like that before. I was embarrassed, but she was so annoying that I didn’t really feel that bad. I went back, and there was still no one in there, “You guys get very busy here, I can tell this place is amazing.” I was being a dick, but I didn’t even care.

She just smirked, “Yet you still came back.”

I scowled at her.

She kept smirking, “Your friend sent you back here or did you realize you have no friends?”

Okay she was clever, I had to give her that. I tried not to show I was impressed by her comeback, so I sarcastically said, “You’re hilarious, you should be a comedian. I’d like to get a few falafel plates for the party tonight please”

She started preparing the food.

I was waiting in the silence, “So do you want to go?”

While she was placing the food in containers, she replied, “I’ll only go if my friend agrees to go with me”

I was relieved, “Okay that’s fair.”

She looked up at me, “I’m glad you agree.”

I had no idea if or when she was being sarcastic.

I gave her the address, the details, Trusky’s number in case she got lost, and got the falafel plates, and left. I immediately texted Trusky:

“Yeah unless there’s two Natashas that work here, I don’t understand why you like her...”

Trusky replied right away:

“The same way I don’t understand why you like Bailey?”

Before I even responded he added:

“Okay that was too far.”

I replied: “You think?”

If anyone else said this to me, even in our friend group, it would have pissed me off, but I know with Trusky it was just banter and that he wanted to cheer me up.

As I was driving home, I could already see the trick-or-treaters eagerly getting their candy. I gave Hazel some pumpkin-shaped dog treats that I bought from Trader Joe’s and then took a quick shower. I changed into my gold and brown gladiator costume. I was so relieved to luckily find my ring on the couch and immediately wore it. Then, I gave Hazel her new favorite toy that funny enough was a smiling pumpkin wearing a witches’ hat. I wonder if she would like Thanksgiving or Christmas as much as she liked Halloween. She had so much personality, and I swore she loved seeing decorations because she would bark every time we would walk by a pumpkin patch or a gift shop. I gave her a kiss every time I would leave her, so she always knew how much I loved her, and it killed me every time I had to leave her. I took a lot of candy for the party, the falafel plates, and headed back to my jeep. I started my car, and my mind started to travel everywhere.

Even though I had plenty of reasons to doubt her intentions previously, I somehow still pictured Belly would be my wife one day. I now realize it may have been more of me wanting her to be my wife rather than an actual reality that she genuinely wanted as much as I did. I got why Belly didn’t want to go to the party, but what was she doing then tonight? I never doubted what she was doing before, but I couldn’t help it right now. I didn’t trust her anymore. I still do not understand how she said that that night. My mind kept replaying the exact moment. I could still hear her voice when she said it and could not get over the fact that she called my brother’s name a second before we were about to sleep together. It felt like a dagger to my heart.

 Something so simple destroyed me inside completely.

I also knew Belly wasn’t originally going to be in town this weekend. The fact that she somehow got home earlier and was in town made me question why she didn’t want to go tonight. Even though we were keeping our distance right now, I knew how much she looked forward to these Halloween parties. She loved the decorations and dressing up. I felt bad for a second for being partially the reason she decided not to go, and after our argument, I understood why she didn’t tell me she wasn’t going. Is it bad that for once I didn’t really care that she didn’t tell me? I guess I was now used to being left in the dark with certain things when it came to her. Knowing all of this, I still had a hard time convincing myself to let go of what we had. Would I ever be ready to let go?

Trusky’s place was packed. There was barely any room for parking, so I had to park more than a block away, which was worse going in since I had a lot of food to carry. Unfortunately, this gladiator attire did not come with any additional muscle strength, so I tried my best to not drop all the candy and falafel I brought and carefully made my way to his home that was lit with purple and orange lights and plenty of Halloween décor.

When I was closer to the house, I could hear Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do” start playing. Every time a Taylor Swift song would play, I would think of Belly. This was actually one of my personal favorites from Taylor, such a catchy song.

Taylor, Ashley, and Jessica were dressed as the Sanderon Sister’s from Hocus Pocus. Taylor was Sarah, Jessica was Mary, and Ashley was Winifred. Carlos was dressed as a Ken, and Zac was dressed as Allan from the Barbie movie because Zac did not like the movie, and Carlos was obsessed with it and could not stop talking about it ever since it was released this past summer. Matt was dressed as Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid. He loved Disney movies even though he would always try to pretend he was too old for them, and Trusky was dressed as The Mandalorian. As soon as the song ended, “Monster Mash” came on, and everyone lined up to do the dance. I could already tell Jessica was clearly flirting with Trusky as they were heading toward the dancefloor, and Trusky didn’t realize it, but he was flirting back. Carlos tried to teach everyone this simple dance to this song last year, since it was our tradition to play it every year at the Halloween party, but no one still knew how to do it. So we all looked like Joey Tribbiani from Friends when he was trying to teach ballet to his class with zero dancing experience.

After the first chorus, Carlos yelled, “no, you’re all doing it wrong!” Trusky yelled back, “no Carlos, you played the song too early.” Matt was trying to flirt with a girl dressed as Ariel, and Zac said, “I think I sprained my ankle.” Carlos looked at him, “you always think you sprained your ankle, you’re fine.” I lost it and started laughing at all of them. I know I said this before, but I loved my friends. They were hilarious, kind, loyal, and always had my back. They were the first true family I felt since losing my mom and feeling like I lost my brother. With the biggest smile I probably had on my face since I could remember, I went to grab a non-alcoholic drink since I was driving myself home later.

As I was walking to the door, I recognized a familiar face. It was Natasha with a girl that resembled her a little, only looked a little older and had lighter brown hair. I couldn’t tell what Natasha’s costume was. I just saw dark purple clothes and a bejeweled necklace, but the other girl clearly was dressed as a pirate. Natasha saw me, walked toward me, and laughed, “Really? Of course you dressed as a gladiator.”

Was she really making funny of me like that? “At least I have a costume, what are you supposed to be, a scarier version of yourself?”

She pretended to laugh, “Ha ha, you’re supposed to be something scary on Halloween, but you just tried to be a better-looking version of yourself.”

My eyes widened, “So you’re saying I look better looking than before?” Wait, did that sound like I was flirting? I definitely wasn’t, so I stopped myself before she would assume I was. I tried to change the subject before she had a chance to respond. “Why is your friend still standing there?”

She shook her head, “She’s not my friend, she’s my older sister.”

I nodded, “Ah I see, so did you now realize you have no friends?” Did I just use her comeback against her? Yes, yes I did.

She faked a smile, “No, you try finding someone to go with you to a strangers’ party that you have no idea how it will be hours before. But I guess this is nice..the decorations are nice.”

I responded, “Thank you.”

She looked at me amused, “Are you the one that decorated all this?”

My eyebrows furrowed, “No.”

She continued as if she was almost winning an argument, “Then why did you say thank you?”

I fake laughed, “I was just trying to be polite- do you argue like this with everyone you just meet?”

She looked at the dancefloor then into my eyes, “No, only the people I find annoying.”

I looked at the dancefloor, “The feelings mutual,” then at Trusky, “Here, let me go find Trusky.”

I walked across the room to him. The music was so loud, “Trusky, hey man, Natasha is here!”

Trusky’s face lit up, “Ah man, I cannot thank you enough, okay how do I look? How do I smell? I knew this costume would be too much, I knew it, I knew it.. and this cologne was terrible, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Matt! He knows nothing about fragrances. Is it too much?

Jessica’s POV:

“Do you think it’s too much? I knew I shouldn’t have worn this much makeup, and my perfume smells like roses. I wanted it to smell like Jasmine. Trusky likes Jasmine, and scents have a big impact on how a guy feels around you. I read it in Cosmo once.”

Disappointment filled Ashley’s eyes, “you need to stop acting like Cosmo is this textbook you need to follow, and you shouldn’t do all this just to impress a guy. If he cannot see how great you are without the Jasmine, then he’s not the one. I don’t get when you will move on.”

I was hopeful though because this was the most we had flirted before. I felt like he looked at me different tonight, almost like he finally saw me more than a friend. “I don’t think I’ve been obvious enough that I like him before, and he was flirting with me for like an hour earlier, so I think he’s starting to notice me more.”

I knew Ashley wanted to be supportive, but she didn’t want me to get hurt, “Trust me Jess, you’ve been more than obvious before, and he hasn’t shown enough interest. Yes, I have seen some moments where you two look at each other in a way that maybe, just maybe there could be something, but what about that Natasha girl?”

I wasn’t worried about Natasha, “Oh Jeremiah told me she’s so annoying and that Trusky won’t like her. I don’t even think she came tonight.”

Ashley smiled at me, “Okay Jess, but be careful please. I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

I grinned and shrieked, “Okay, I’m going in, wish me luck!!”

Ashley hugged me, “With that smile, you don’t need any luck babe.”

I kissed her cheek, “Te amo mi amor.”

She fixed my hair and blew me a kiss, “Muah”

My heart was beating so fast, and my hands were shaking a little.

I was sweating so much, that my perfume had probably already melted, but I was doing this. I was proud of myself. I made sure to fix my brows in place. I didn’t need a mirror for that.

Back to Jeremiah’s POV:

“Trusky stop, you are by far best dressed tonight, and you got this, now go before she leaves because knowing her, she could have already left by now, oh and try to act shy.”

He looked at me confused, “What?”

I tried to act dumb, “I may have told her you’re shy.”

He looked nervous, “Why did you say that?”

I didn’t know what to say, “She kept questioning me so I just said that, and isn’t that what you told me?”

He was starting to panic, “Yeah but not to tell her.”

I tried to relax him, “Whatever it’s okay, just try to act like it a little.”

Luckily, he became less tense, “Okay thanks for the heads up. Where is she again?”

I pointed toward her from across the room, “Right there.”

He was trying to look for her, “Where?”

I pointed right at Natasha, “There, the one wearing the purple cape.”

He looked at her confused, “What?”

I looked at him confused, “What? What do you mean what?”

He looked at me confused, “Who’s that?”

I looked at him confused, “That’s Natasha.”

He was confident, “No it’s not.”

I repeated myself, “Yes it is.”

He explained, “No I’m telling you that’s not Natasha.”

I was so confused so I explained, “Trusky her name is Natasha, and she works at that Bouras Gyros.”

He continued, “That’s not the Natasha I was talking about then.”

My face fell, “Fuck, so there really is two Natashas then? I was just joking when I said that to you earlier.”

Trusky looked like he just realized something, “Ohhh wait, maybe her name wasn’t Natasha then.”

My face was most likely red at this moment, “Trusky what do you mean?!”

I could tell he was even more confused than me, “Listen, maybe I got her name mixed up I don’t know? The girl I was talking about had lighter brown hair.”

Shit. Before I could explain how embarrassed I was and we could figure out what was going on Natasha and the mystery girl walked toward us. “Hi, Trusky, this is Natasha, Natasha, this is Trusky, uh and-”

The mystery girl spoke, “I’m Nina, Natasha’s sister.”

Trusky bluntly said, “Shit that’s right, Nina!”

Oh no. Natasha was smart so I could tell she was starting to figure this out.

Nina on the other hand was smiling at Trusky, and now I realized it was definitely Nina who Trusky was talking about all day.

I could not believe this, all that for nothing.

Jessica’s POV:

Two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen walked right in front of me before I could even make eye contact with Trusky. I saw his face light up, before mine fell. How did I believe even for a second that I stood a chance?

Back to Jeremiah’s POV:

I saw Jessica’s face from the corner, and she looked like how I looked when I saw Belly and Conrad lock eyes at Steven’s birthday the other day. I felt awful for her, but then I was snapped back to reality when Natasha said she was going to get a drink. I didn’t know what to do, but I felt a little bad for her, so I went to clarify everything with her. “Natasha, I’m really sorry, this was all just a misunderstanding. Trusky got your names mixed up. I promise he said Natasha. He did not say anything about a Nina, so I was not messing with you earlier-”

She cut me off, “Okay.”

I was surprised. “Okay?”

She look at me with a knowing loo, “Yeah okay. Are we repeating our conversation from earlier today again?”

I was both taken aback and impressed by how unaffected she was, “You’re not mad then?”

She signed, “No, but I am a little annoyed that I could have been home watching Hocus Pocus and Halloweentown, but why would I be mad? It was an honest mix-up.”

I smiled, “Hocus Pocus and Halloweentown?”

Her eyes filled with curiosity, “What?”

Now I started laughing, and now she questioned me, “Do you have a problem with those movies?”

I put my hands up in defeat, “No not at all, it’s just funny.”

I could tell she was waiting for my response, “Why is that funny? Last time I checked they weren’t comedies.”

I clarified, “I just assumed you would be the type to watch a horror film on Halloween.”

Now she questioned me, “And why is that?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know maybe because I think you’re a little frightening.”

She stared at me and then started laughing, “Well then you might be the type to get scared by The Nightmare Before Christmas if you think I’m frightening.”

I was speechless, “You’re not phased by anything are you?”

She looked curious again, “What do you mean?”

I looked at the dancefloor, “I mean you don’t hold back, you just say whatever you want, and you’re not afraid to dish it back.”

She looked me up and down and said, “Why would I be afraid of a guy wearing a gladiator costume that doesn’t even look like a gladiator costume on Halloween? Where did you buy that from, Party City?”

I tried to sound as sarcastic as possible, while narrowing my eyes at her, “Where else would I buy it from, Costco?”

She sighed and now looked at the dancefloor, “Maybe I’m just being difficult, but as someone with Italian heritage, that looks far from an authentic gladiator costume.”

I looked at her, “I didn’t know you were Italian?”

She looked at me equally sarcastic and amused, “Why would you know that? You literally just met me today. That would have been very weird if you knew that,” and then looked back at the dancefloor.

Right. I don’t even know why I just asked that, so I just kept staring at the dancefloor as well. This was such an awkward conversation, yet it kept continuing.

She looked at me and I looked back, “I’m half Greek, a fourth Croatian, and a fourth Italian and Bouras Gyros is my families’ place. My dad actually started it. He’s full Greek, and my mom is half Italian and half Croatian. My dad’s last name is Bouras.”

I nodded, “Oh got it, that’s really cool. Why do I feel like you speak all three of those languages?”

She smiled at me, “Because I do.”

I was stunned, “Are you serious?”

Her smile dropped back to her poker face from earlier, “No I lied.”

I was even more stunned, “Really?”

She laughed again, “I’m adding most gullible person to the list.”

There was another awkard silence and then she said, “Well where’s your fiancé?”

My smile fell, “She didn’t come tonight,”and before she could ask another question I said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

She could tell she said the wrong thing, “I actually remembered I have to be up really early tomorrow so I should probably go.”

I was surprised, “Are you sure? You just got here.” Not that I wanted her to stay, I felt bad that she wanted to leave because of what I just said.

She clarified, “Yeah but I don’t know anyone, Nina and Trusky seem to be hitting it off, and we drove in separate cars since I knew I had to leave earlier anyways. I have to be up really early tomorrow morning, basically today since it’s already the middle of the night.”

I understood, “Okay let me walk you out.”

She shook her head, “That’s not necessary I’m good, thank you.”

I tried to convince her, “It’s really late now, and I want to make sure you get to your car safe. I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable though. If you really don’t want me to walk you, I won’t. That’s just something that’s important to me.”

She looked a little relieved, “I appreciate that, that’s fine, thank you.”

As we walked outside, the night was filled with a slight fog that was lit by the full moon. It had rained a little earlier, while another storm was on its way. Between the fog, moon, and streetlights, the raindrops glistened against the concrete pavement. An awkward silence filled the air again, until we reached her car, and I said, “The Nightmare Before Christmas is frightening if you really think about it. It also happens to be one of my favorite holiday movies, but I also like watching it during Halloween. I actually relate to Jack Skellington a lot.”

The look on her face was pure gold. I think it was the first time in this short period of knowing her where she looked speechless, “What?”

I reminded her, “You mentioned if I was frightened by that movie earlier.”

She tried not to look impressed, “How did you remember that?”

I didn’t think this was a big deal, but her reaction made me happy for some reason, “It wasn’t that long ago.”

She looked like she was trying to figure out a mystery, “Still, I’m surprised.”

This was the most confident I’ve felt in ages, “I guess you can add that to your list.”

Without notice, her earlier overconfident tone was beginning to fade, “What list?”

Now I was getting a little thrown off, “Really?”

Her tone came right back in full force, “Ah, you didn’t fall for that one.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m catching on now I guess.”

Now she continued with a softer tone, “My favorite Halloween movie is actually, Corpse Bride, Emily the Corpse Bride is a fucking legend.”

I was smiling on the inside, but I didn’t let it show, “I think Victor Van Dort is equally a legend if not more.”

Her eyebrows furrowed in disappointment, “How so?”

I had a lot of genuine thoughts on this. “Victor gave up so much for everyone he loved and never expected anything in return. Was he flawed and made some weighty mistakes initially? Of course, but he was willing to die to bring happiness to Emily, and he was going to marry Victoria even though it was an arranged marriage. I mean he did love her, of course he did, but if he had a choice to marry anyone he wanted to, you never know how that story would have ended. It was like all the choices were made for him, and he had to smile and pretend it was what he wanted, but did we ever really know what he wanted? Did he ever even know what he wanted? How could he? All he ever knew was Victoria. How could he separate what he wanted vs. what people wanted for him? And how would he know if he never had the chance to really think about it, at a subconscious level maybe, but with all that pressure and chaos, it’s hard to tell right?”

Natasha’s mouth was open and her eyes were wide with shock, “Shit Jeremiah, you really studied this haven’t you?”

I didn’t even realize how long I had been talking. I guess it was just energy I needed to release someway, who knows. “Uh, yeah.” I nervously laughed, “I guess.”

She took in a deep breath, and her eyes got even wider, “That was very intuitive actually, and I agree with maybe...a sentence or two.”

I rolled my eyes.

She looked into my eyes in an enigmatic way that I had no clue what she was thinking, “Well it’s been odd meeting you Jeremiah...”

She was waiting for me to complete the sentence. “What?”

She narrowed her eyes again at me, “What’s your last name?”

I was even more confused now, “Why”?

In a smooth manner, she explained, “For starters, you know my last name, and now you know how I felt earlier today. And you see it was an odd question.”

I knew it was an odd question before, but damn she was quick. “Fisher.”

With her best poker face, she said, “Do you fish?”

I rolled my eyes again, “It’s been odd meeting you too Natasha, drive safe, and sorry again.”

She sincerely responded, “It’s fine. Stop apologizing. Goodnight.”

I gave a half-confused smile, “Goodnight.”

Even with a lack of sleep, I think Natasha is genuinely one of the strangest people I’ve ever met. She was annoying yet seemed interesting. She was clearly intelligent in what I assumed was on both an academic and emotional level. She barely stayed at the party for twenty minutes and had to already leave? What did she have to do tomorrow? I guess the only reason I gave this any thought for even a second was to distract myself from thinking about what was really on my mind. The heaviness in my chest was only growing colder by the minute.

You see, thinking about things that are not important only works for so long. Before you know it, you’re reminded of everything you want to forget about.

When I got back inside, Taylor, Ashley, and Jessica were performing the iconic, “I Put A Spell On You” song from Hocus Pocus. They were so out of tune that it made me laugh, and by the looks of the crowd, they agreed as well. Belly would have loved this. I was drawn back to my thoughts again.

There were moments these past two weeks where I wanted to be as far away from her as possible and other moments like this where I didn’t want to leave her side. I missed her so I opened my phone and went to the camera roll and found our pictures from last Halloween. Last year’s party had a masquerade theme, so we decided to dress up as Bridgerton characters. I was Benedict Bridgerton, and she was Sophie Beckett. Her bejeweled lavender Victorian dress fit her perfectly. Her hair was up, exposing her neck and collar bone that was completely bare except for her gold sunflower necklace. I was distracted that entire night. I tried my best to be on my best behavior, but that lasted for a good half an hour. I needed a drink.

I looked up, and Ashley was now making out with some guy who I didn’t recognize. Carlos and Zac were giggling at each other and clearly looked like they felt they were the only two people in this room. Trusky was holding Nina’s hand, while she kept playing with her hair. I started feeling sick, so I got up and walked past a couple kissing the exact same way Belly and I would kiss, like their life depended on it. I licked my lips, and all I could taste was her. I needed that damn drink.

I knew I couldn’t drink though, so I took in a deep breath and went to grab some of the non-alcoholic cranberry punch. I drank the whole cup of punch in one sip. I was walking past the dancefloor when I breathed in the vanilla and peach scent I knew all too well. I looked up with hopeful eyes, and her silky hair was pushed to the side.

“Belly?”