the winter i turned intelligent: chapter 7 (pt. 1)

Important Note from Dreamy Plots & Story Talks: This story contains suggestive language and sexual content and is only suitable for readers that are 18+.

Chapter 7 (part 1):

Back at the Boardwalk:

Back to Jeremiah’s POV: 

Conrad suggested to get burgers for all of us and asked me to go with him to help carry the food to our table. I knew he wanted me to go as well mainly to find out what was going on. While we waited for the food to prepare all I was thinking about was what Belly and Natasha would be talking about while we were gone.

Conrad on the other hand was staring at me waiting for an explanation, “Well...what’s going on? how do you both already know Natasha?” 

I had no idea how her and Belly knew each other, “I’ll tell you later about how I met her, but I have no clue how she knows Belly.”

Conrad squinted his eyes in confusion, “Fine, but is there anything I should know about?”

His tone implied that we were all hiding something from him, “no it’s just an odd story, the way I met her...this is all just a coincidence, don’t worry.” 

Luckily our food was ready before he could ask me another question.

When we got to the table, I heard Belly and Natasha trying to make small talk, but they also looked uncomfortable 

There were a few minutes of silence, while we were distracted by our food. Belly was the first to put down her burger and then looked at Natasha, “so how did you meet Jeremiah and Conrad?”

I guess Conrad would hear the story sooner now. I was nervous for Natasha’s response and Belly’s reaction. I didn’t do anything wrong, but I had this feeling that some of the story would get lost in translation.

Natasha played it cooler than I expected, “it’s actually a funny story. About a month ago, Jeremiah walked into my family’s shop to give me an invitation to his friend’s Halloween party, per his friend’s request. I’m sure you know his friend, Trusky.” Belly nodded, while she continued, “but at the party, Trusky realized I wasn’t the one he wanted to invite, and it turned out he was interested in my sister, Nina. I left the party shortly after and ran into Jeremiah a few times randomly since. And Conrad and I also randomly met at a local frozen yogurt shop just this past weekend. He made the stop after he picked up the ice for a party he was returning to. Then, he invited me here tonight. What a small world though! I had no idea you two were brothers. That’s wild. Honestly, I don’t see the resemblance, but that’s really cool. Do you have more siblings?”

That’s how she met Conrad? It was an odd coincidence, but what was even stranger to me was that Natasha agreed to go on a date with Conrad when she barely knew him. I shouldn’t have compared her rejecting my dinner invitation that one night to this because I knew I only asked her since I saw Belly and Conrad together, and she knew it as well.

However, from the short amount of time I had known Natasha, she didn’t strike me as a spontaneous person. It certainly didn’t sound like her to go on a date with someone who was basically a stranger to her. Conrad must have made quite the impression on her, and somehow it annoyed me a little even though it shouldn’t have.

Conrad responded to Natasha’s question, “no, it’s just us, but yeah, that is crazy. What are the odds?” I could tell he was still pretty surprised and had more questions, but Carlos and Zac arrived at the table before he had a chance to continue.

Shortly after, Steven and his friends joined us as well, and the conversation turned into something else entirely. Belly barely looked at me for the rest of the evening, and I knew I had fucked up.

Next Week:

Belly’s POV: 

I didn’t want to show Jeremiah that it affected me, but it did. I wanted to know everything. What did Natasha mean when she said her and Jeremiah ran into each other a few times? So she was the person with him at the bar then? Why did he have that odd look on his face when he saw her at the boardwalk? It was obvious to me that Conrad liked her, but now I had the suspicion that so did Jeremiah.  

The car ride to my dad’s house was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Jeremiah and I both skipped the holiday music. We avoided eye contact, or at least I was the one avoiding it.  

When you’re mad, the last thing you tend to do is think of why something could have partially been your fault. I was fully aware that I had hurt Jeremiah on more than a few occasions. None of it was intentional, but what he had done a few years ago with interfering between me and Conrad felt a little intentional. He knew it was wrong, and he still did it. What bothered me the most was that he kept it from me all these years and waited until now to tell me.

We arrived at my dad’s house shortly after. Him and his girlfriend had set up the Thanksgiving dinner table. Two of my cousins were there as well and my dad’s best friend and his wife. I was happy that this was a small group since I wasn’t in the mood to be around a larger crowd tonight.

When we sat down to eat, my dad gave a toast mentioning how grateful he was for all of us, and after his speech he kissed his girlfriend on the cheek. It was really nice to see him this happy again. It felt strange and beautiful at the same time. Time was a funny thing. I knew just a few years ago, it would have made me really uncomfortable to see him with anyone but my mom.

When the doorbell rang, I volunteered to go answer it since everyone else looked busy helping with the food. I called from the hallway, “who else is coming?!” My dad hadn’t mentioned anyone else would be joining us.

The door wasn’t even halfway open when I saw them both, “Conrad, Natasha, hi.” I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights, so I tried to play it cool, “Happy Thanksgiving! Come in.” 

They greeted me back and followed me to the table. I glared at Jeremiah as I took my seat again. I wanted to ask him if he knew since he didn’t look surprised to see them. Since I was worried they would hear me, I refrained from asking Jeremiah why he hadn’t told me. Did he think it would have annoyed me? I was getting tired of being left out of what was going on here.

Conrad’s eyes were filled with this joy that I hadn’t seen him have in years. I felt bad that it bothered me that he was happy with someone else. I was happy too, so I didn’t understand why I felt this way.  

I was probably staring at Natasha for far too long because I zoned out of all the conversations occurring at the table. The last thing I heard was Conrad’s voice, “no way, that’s my favorite too!”

Natasha turned to him with excitement, “Pumpkin pie is the best!”

I went to grab the green beans at the same time as Jeremiah, when he offered for me to pick them first, “Uh my bad.”

I moved my hand so he could take them first, “No, it’s fine, I didn’t really want them anyways.” 

He turned to me while his jaw slightly twitched, “You wanted them a second ago...” 

I focused on my plate instead of him, “And now I don’t.”

I barely heard him scoff, “Yeah kinda like me...”

I dropped my spoon into my plate and narrowed my eyes at him, “Really?”

To my disappointment, Natasha and I locked eyes as I turned away from Jeremiah. I felt her pity through the exchange, “Uh, I have to use the restroom, please excuse me.” 

After using the restroom, I went outside for some fresh air. I must have been gone for more than I thought when Jeremiah texted me if I was okay. I lied saying Taylor called me. When I went back inside, Conrad and Natasha were helping with the dishes, while Jeremiah was setting up the table for dessert. I went to the table to help him, but more so because he was alone so we had a chance to talk, “so were you going to tell me they were coming tonight a few years from now??” and then I paused for dramatic effect waiting for him to look at me so we could make eye contact, “preferably on Thanksgiving, you know...when you’d be reminded again.” 

I didn’t even think if what I just said made any sense. I clearly wasn’t over everything he told me at the boardwalk last week.

He took in a deep breath, looked away, and then looked back at me, “We haven’t really been speaking that much this past week. I guess I forgot I told Conrad he could join us for Thanksgiving. I didn’t know he knew Natasha when I invited him.”

Back to Jeremiah’s POV:

Belly wouldn’t even look at me, and I was starting to lose my patience, “I know you’re mad at me, I get it. You’ve reminded me this entire week. You have every right to be angry. But just tell me what you want. If you don’t want this anymore, just say it.”

Back to Belly’s POV:

I felt the stinging tears fill my eyes, but I opened my eyes even wider so that he wouldn’t see them watering, “I don’t know if I want this anymore.”  

I took the plates back into the kitchen.

Natasha’s POV:

After cleaning the dishes, Conrad and I went into the living room and sat on the couch. A tiny soap bubble that must have followed us from the kitchen was floating in the air right next to his nose. I was following it until it landed on the apple of his right cheek. I touched the bubble and it popped against his now red cheek. I laughed through my words, “sorry there was a bubble that landed on your cheeks.”

He looked into my eyes with such a pure expression that now I must have blushed, “right, sure there was,” and as his soft laughter subsided, he continued, “are you free on Saturday?”

I had practice the entire weekend, “I wish, but no, I’m free next Saturday though!”

His eyes sparkled with excitement that it made me smile even wider, “perfect, I know this amazing restaurant we can go to! I would offer to cook, but I’m staying at my friend’s house for a few more weeks before heading back to school. I love cooking actually, so I’d love to have you over at my apartment once we’re back.”

I was suddenly way more excited to return to campus now, “that all sounds amazing. I’m mostly taking online classes right now, but one of my classes is hybrid, so I have to go back during finals week to take my exam. If I’m back the same time you’re there, I’ll take you up on that offer. I love cooking as well, so this will be fun!”

Conrad moved slightly closer to me but enough for me to notice, “Great, I can’t wait to eat your food.” His cheeks turned an even brighter shade of candy apple red, “Wait- I didn’t mean for that to sound sexual or anything because that’s not what I was trying to say. I just meant I can’t wait to try your cooking- sorry I’m so nervous around you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “you’re seriously one of the funniest people I’ve met. I know what you meant, and I didn’t even think it came across that way until you kept talking and talking...”  

I was teasing him at this point, and I knew he picked up on it when he smiled, “you have something on your left cheek.”

I touched my cheek but didn’t feel anything, “Is it gone?”

Conrad shook his head and moved in even closer, “may I?”

I nodded as my heartbeat grew louder when he touched my cheek gently, “I guess it was just your beauty mark.”

I laughed softly while shaking my head, “the fact that you thought that was smooth makes it even funnier.”

Conrad’s smile slowly faded as he bit his lip slightly. He quickly glanced at my lips and then into my eyes.  

It looked like he was going to kiss me. Then again, it had been so long since the last time I’d been kissed that I couldn’t recall what it felt like anymore.  

His eyes searched mine for a signal first. I could feel his hesitation more than I felt my own. My mind was racing so fast that I didn’t have a chance to pinpoint a single thought. We were interrupted before I could decide what I wanted, “Uh, dessert’s ready…” 

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment knowing Jeremiah almost saw Conrad try to kiss me. Conrad sighed before responding to him, “thanks, we’re coming.”

Jeremiah walked away, and Conrad anxiously looked at me for a few seconds before we both nervously chuckled and got up from the couch and back to the dining table.

Conrad’s POV:

I wondered if Jeremiah saw us about to kiss and tried to stop it, or if he didn’t know what was going on and that it was just bad timing. I was a little pissed because my gut feeling told me he saw me lean over.

My luck got even worse when Belly’s hand and mine touched while we both reached for the fork that was between our plates. It happened that I was seated next to her on my right and Natasha on my left. She looked into my eyes, but then I looked away first. I wondered if Natasha saw that. I hoped not.

Back to Belly’s POV:

When we got back home, Jeremiah and I were getting ready for bed. He looked so disappointed, and I felt bad for what I told him. I didn’t exactly mean what I said, but I was a little confused about everything. Some part of me now didn’t know what I wanted but not enough for me to project that to him, “I didn’t mean that Jere.”

He looked at me with clear anger in his eyes, “I know you did, and it’s fine. It is what it is.”

I knew this argument wouldn’t solve anything, but I was panicking that everything was falling apart. 

We were both annoyed at each other, and this back and forth would just make things worse, “Why couldn’t you have just been honest with me about how you felt about me? What was the point of playing those games Jere? It’s not like you to do something like that.”

I could hear his voice break, and it broke another piece of my defeated heart, “I know, I told you I was immature and dumb and stupid, I don’t know what else to say. What do you want me to do to fix this? I’ll do whatever you want.” 

I fought back my tears, “Broken trust is not something you can just fix. And do you not see how bad it looks that you waited this long to tell me? I can’t get past how long you kept it from me. All the memories we’ve shared since then seem tainted now.” 

I could see tears form in his eyes as well, “That wasn’t my intention. And how can you say that? All those moments were real. I never lied about how I felt about you. If you’re wondering if things between Conrad would have been different, I know anything could have been different in theory if you went back, but I don’t think it’s fair to use this as an argument against what happened between us. You and him were together for more than six months. When I tried to come between you two, it was before you even dated, and it was only because I liked you so much. It had nothing to do with him. I know it was wrong, but I am not that powerful to have messed up everything that happened between you and him.”

I was frustrated that he always took the opportunity to bring up Conrad during all our arguments when this was on him, “Of course you go and bring him up again. When will you stop comparing yourself to Conrad? This isn’t about him. It’s about the fact that our relationship started with a lie.” 

He shook his head, “Belly that’s not entirely true, I didn’t lie. I just kept something from you. And I’m not saying that makes it okay or even better. And it wasn’t the start of our relationship. You dated Conrad after that, so what I did didn’t even do anything. Remember you cheated on me and then you two started going out?”

“You know how bad I felt about that. I thought we already moved past that. Remember we didn’t go out until before Thanksgiving because I felt so awful that I did that to you.” I didn’t like that he brought up something that we had already resolved.  

He continued to try to convince me, “Yes I know that. I’m just saying if I got past that, what can I do for you to forgive me for this?”

“Did you keep this from me to get even?” I knew I shouldn’t have said that, but the thought was glued to my mind.

He rolled his eyes, and I already expected it, “Of course not, I honestly hadn’t even remembered it for a while.”

It bothered me that I couldn’t tell if he was lying or not, “But you did remember it at least a few times right?”

He sighed, “Not really, but on fourth of July I would remember it.”

I could tell he just told me the truth, but it just pissed me off even more, “You should have told me earlier.”

He shook his head, and softened his tone, “I know I should have, but I was afraid.”

I tried to sympathize with him, “What were you so afraid of? I would have understood if you told me that first year we dated. I would have been annoyed, but I’d appreciated the honesty.”

I could hear the desperation in his voice, “I was afraid I’d lose you, which is what’s happening right now.”

How could I hate him after saying that? I didn’t want him to see that his words had gotten to me, “Jere that’s not an excuse.” 

He tried to clarify further, “I know it’s not. But you know what? I’m not trying to distract from what I did, but how is the fact that you kept his necklace from me among other things and how you met with him behind my back when we were having a fight not as bad as what I did? You kept a lot of things from me, but I chose to look past it because I knew you were worth it. But I’m not allowed to screw up either? I was so young, and I would never do that now. If you don’t have feelings for me the way I have for you, then let me know, but don’t use this to prove I don’t love you.”

I knew this wasn’t just about Conrad anymore. “Okay that’s fair. And I know you love me. But what about Natasha?”

His brows quickly furrowed, “What about her??” 

I felt there was something going on between them, “I saw how you looked at her at the boardwalk and how you barely looked at her tonight.”

His tone became sarcastic that implied he thought this was nonsense, “Are you joking? I was just shocked that she was there with Conrad and how you had both met her without me even knowing it.”

I noticed that he didn’t directly answer my question, “You didn’t deny it just now though.”

I hadn’t seen him look this annoyed since the time I had called Conrad’s name when we kissed, “What? No, I don’t have any feelings for Natasha, Belly.”

I tried to believe him, “Ok.”

He looked defeated and exhausted. “You don’t believe me, do you?”  

Some part of me didn’t, “No I do.”

He sighed then turned to his side of the bed. I noticed he fell asleep shortly after, but I was wide awake.

I remembered all the times we shared together, but now I remembered all the times Conrad and I also shared together. I had incredible memories with both of them, but they were very different from each other.

Some of my most electrifying experiences had been with Conrad. The downside was that most of my worst heartbreak also lingered from those same memories.  

Laying in this bed, I thought of the times Conrad filled my world with magic, back when I felt my dreams had finally come true. At some point, he was my biggest dream. Then I remembered the times he shut me out from his life where I felt the most alone.

Being with Jeremiah always felt magical, even when we were just friends. In my eyes, he was pretty close to perfection. I guessed that’s why I never imagined he would have made me feel the same doubt I had felt with Conrad. Before Jeremiah and I made up recently, I had more clarity than I ever had before. Now I felt even more lost than during our break.  

Jeremiah was right. I had forgotten what I also kept from him. It wasn’t fair for me to act like he was the only one who had messed up. I had also been very surprised when he forgave me and wanted to still be together even after hearing me out.

Instead, my first instinct after hearing him out was to argue with him and give him the cold shoulder. The first thought that selfishly came to me was how angry I was for how things ended between Conrad and me.   

Before I knew Jeremiah liked me, I hadn’t seen him that way before, and things had been much simpler.  

Now I wondered what Conrad thought about our relationship when he looked back on all that had happened between us. Did he even think about us at all?

My mind was trying to play tricks on me, but I quickly snapped out of it. When I remembered all the heartache being with him gave me, I was grateful for Jeremiah. I never knew I’d fall in love again, but I did. And now I was also jealous that my ex and my boyfriend both seemed to like the same girl that was no longer me.  

I turned towards Jeremiah. His back was facing me, while he was sound asleep.

I wanted to hug him so badly. I was cold and sad, and he was the one I’d turn to when I needed warmth and peace.

I reached out my hand to hold him but then moved it back to my side. After hearing everything he had to say, I knew we both had hurt each other but not enough to not look past all of this.

Somehow, I still felt his feelings for me were starting to fade and move to someone else. What had long been mine had slipped through my fingers.

Now I felt like I really lost him.

Back to Jeremiah’s POV: 

It was Saturday, and Nina was visiting her friends who just arrived in town, so Trusky arrived to the ice-skating rink with Matt, Carlos, Zac, Jessica, and Ashley. Taylor, Steven, Belly, Conrad, and I drove together. Since the rink had a holiday costume theme night, our group decided to go as characters from How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Conrad had told us Natasha was busy this weekend and couldn’t join us. Selfishly I was glad that she wouldn’t be here. That way some of the tension between Belly and me could subside. Belly was pretty good at skating, but I had terrible balance and would always crash within a few seconds after touching the ice. This made ice skating an adventure Belly looked forward to each year because of how much it made her laugh. Laughter felt like what we both needed right now. I had my skepticism, but I hoped skating would break the ice between us.

Conrad and I paid for the skate rentals, and then everyone tied their ice skates before quickly making their way to the rink before it became too crowded. One of my shoelaces was missing, so I walked back. Belly offered to wait for me, but I think she did that out of courtesy. She didn’t think twice as soon as I said I would just meet her on the ice.  

As I walked to the front of the rink to change my skates, I noticed Natasha walk through the doors.

Her hair was in a bun, but she wasn’t wearing a costume. I caught her in a lie, and her eyes showed it. “What are you doing here? Conrad said you were busy...” I wondered if my tone was rude. 

She immediately rose her eyebrows, and I knew I had been a tad bit harsh, “I am busy.”

I noticed a pair of skates in her hands, “Well if ice skating is your definition of busy then by all means.”

I didn’t know why I was this annoyed. I wasn’t the one she’d blown off tonight. She continued, “Excuse me, I’m training.”

My curiosity showed more than I would have liked, “Training for what?” 

She answered me with pure nonchalance, “The Olympics.”

Now she was just messing with me, “Right…so am I...”

She shook her head in frustration, “I’m not kidding. You see that lady over there? She’s my coach, and I already know she’ll ask why I’m standing here talking to you instead of going to practice. Besides, I don’t owe you any explanation.”

She didn’t owe me an explanation, but I guessed her constant questioning had rubbed off on me. Plus, the more I learned about her, the more I wanted to know. There was something still so mysterious about her that I had a hard time grasping. I also didn’t believe her. Since I was a little speechless from her response, my next sentence translated more as a puzzling statement rather than a question, “You’re training for the Olympics.”

Her tone was serious, “Yes.” 

I was starting to think she wasn’t joking, “What-”