the winter i turned intelligent: chapter 9 (pt. 1)

Important Note from Dreamy Plots & Story Talks: This story contains suggestive language and sexual content and is only suitable for readers that are 18+.

Chapter 9 (part 1):

Jeremiah’s POV:

I was fumbling for my keys when Belly caught me by surprise, “Natasha looked really pretty tonight...”

I turned to her as I opened the door, “yeah she did, but you looked the most beautiful.” She rolled her eyes jokingly, so I pulled her in. I wrapped my arms around her hips to continue proving my point, “you’re the most beautiful person in any room I walk into. You will always be the most beautiful woman to me.” She tried to keep in her smile, but I knew she was remembering what had never changed, “unless our ESP has officially left without telling me...” That did it. Belly smiled into my lips as I picked her up. With her legs wrapped around my waist, we slowly made our way up the stairs.

Conrad’s POV: 

It was finals week at Yale which meant I would finally get to see Natasha again. I wondered if she’d missed me as much as I’d missed her. I had thought about her an embarrassing number of times and hoped my excitement around her wouldn’t turn her off. The alternative would have been to play it cool, and we all know how that turned out for me the last time. Part of my excitement was that for so long I had tried to conceal how I felt about the person I cared about that now I almost didn’t know how to act joyful without it being off-putting.

During our last FaceTime a few days ago, she had told me how Jeremiah and her had danced to a slow song at the senior living home that he used to volunteer at. I was surprised that they had danced together, especially with Belly being there and all, but I guessed that made it even more harmless. I knew Belly was the most important person to him and that he wouldn’t jeopardize anything with her especially with someone that he had just met. The thought of Natasha potentially liking Jeremiah had never occurred to me until now even though I knew they had met before we did. I didn’t waste another second worrying about this though since she had decided to tell me this on her own.

I finished my last exam and was waiting in the main café for her. Since Winter Break would be starting this weekend, the café was packed with students grabbing coffee as a treat after their last exam or as fuel for their next exam. Natasha’s last final would be over any minute now, and I had ordered our coffees to avoid the long lines. I was scrolling through my Instagram feed nervously without much focus on what I was actually looking at. I grew more jittery, the way I always got before seeing her. A notification popped up at the top of my phone with a text from her saying she had just left her lecture hall and was on her way. My heart jumped. The temperatures had dropped outside, and it would snow any day now, yet suddenly it felt like the warmest summer day.

I placed her coffee on the opposite side of the table and tried my best to organize the table with the crumbly cinnamon cake. The only drawback of the pastry was how messy it was. I cleaned the crumbs and made sure the cake was cut in small pieces so it hadn’t looked like I had already taken a bite. I wanted to wait for her, but I was always starving after taking an exam, and now combined with the nerves, I had to have just one piece.  

I saw her smile through the glass doors and got up, “Hi,” I gave her a small kiss, and she licked her lips with delight. My brows furrowed, and my cheeks felt a little warmer, “what?” 

As we took our seats she replied, “you taste like cinnamon,” she giggled and moved towards me. My heart rate increased as she placed her thumb on the corners of my mouth, “here, you have some crumbs on your lips.” I wish she had kissed me. Instead, she wiped the burnt sugar from my skin, leaving me on an unsatisfied high.

I hid my disappointment from her though, “How was your test?” It was the only question that came to my mind.

“It was awful,” she laughed and nervously added, “but at least it was multiple choice. What about you. How was yours?”  

“It was definitely NOT multiple choice.” I laughed, and she followed suit. “It was some short essay format, and it was the longest hour and a half of my life. At least it’s over now,” Natasha listened intently, “I could really go for some of that mango frozen yogurt now.”

She paused, “In this economy??” 

I almost spat out my coffee, “Touché,” I expressed agreement through my laughter, “they know theirs is the best, that’s why they charge that much. And I hate to say it but it’s so worth it.” 

“I can’t say I disagree,” She looked at the coffee cake.

I had forgotten about the pastry, “oh this is for you, I hope the coffee’s still warm. If it’s not, I can go get you a new one. The line was just long so I thought I’d get everything before you got here.”

A small smile formed on her lips, “No it’s great, thank you so much.” 

“So, do you have any plans for Christmas? My dad’s having a Christmas party on Christmas Eve at his house, and it would be great if you wanted to join us.” I had already asked my dad, and he was excited to meet Natasha for the first time.

She finished chewing her cake, “I can’t, I’m sorry. My parents like us to stay home on Christmas Eve. Our family always comes over, and some of them spend the night so that we’re all together on Christmas Day.”

“Yeah, of course, no worries. I hope you all have fun.” I wasn’t as upset that she couldn’t join us. I was more so a little hurt that she didn’t invite me to spend Christmas with her and her family. I knew just because I invited her over for Thanksgiving that she didn’t owe me an invitation for Christmas.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt since I didn’t know her family situation, but I couldn’t help but be a little more bummed that I expected to be knowing she didn’t even suggest it. Maybe it didn’t mean anything, but it made me feel she didn’t care that we wouldn’t spend it together. She hadn’t given me any other reason to doubt her though, so I chose not to use this as a reason to doubt us.

Christmas Eve:

Back to Jeremiah’s POV:

Christmas dinner would be interesting to say the least. Conrad, Belly, and I were cooking the entire day since dad had to work until around 5 pm. Belly was a good cook, but Conrad and I weren’t the best. We liked to cook, but we definitely thought we were better at it than we actually were.

Conrad and I were preparing the mashed potatoes when Belly stopped working on the macaroni and cheese, “what are you two doing?”

“I don’t know what he’s doing, but I’m creating a masterpiece,” I made dramatic gestures as I delivered this.  

“Give me that,” Conrad took the bowl of potatoes from me, “This is how you do it.”

I took the bowl back, “Connie, it’s not soup, it should still look like potatoes.” 

“Can I leave you two alone for an hour with the turkey?” Belly didn’t have time to shower earlier, so she was going to go while the food was cooking.

Conrad answered for me, “Yeah I don’t know...I wouldn’t trust Jere with my salad, so a Turkey is kinda a reach.”

I threw a piece of lettuce from the salad we prepared together at him, “Don’t insult my salads like that. They’re fucking amazing.”

Conrad took some of the mashed potatoes and placed it on my shoulder, “That’s exactly what I just said.”

I felt awful for Belly because ever since Conrad was back in town all we did was clown around, and I imagined she was past being frustrated with us. Despite this, I took a bigger amount of the mashed potatoes and placed it on Conrad’s back, “yeah, yeah, my bad. I must have misheard you.”

I gave a fake smile as Conrad took another piece of the potatoes but stopped at the sound of Belly’s voice, “guys that’s enough. We won’t have anymore food at this rate by the time I’m back. Promise me you’ll both behave...and change your clothes later.” 

Conrad and I looked at each other and tried not to laugh, but our voices gave away our lack of seriousness for us, “we promise.” Then she left to take a shower.

As Conrad and I were removing the mashed potatoes from our clothes, I let him know about the other night, “so I’m not sure if Natasha told you or not but at the senior center Christmas movie night, we danced to a slow song together. But only because everyone wanted us to, and I also felt bad for her because she was alone, and if Belly hadn’t said it was okay, I didn’t even want to-”

He quickly commented before I could continue, “yeah she told me last week when we were on a call. Don’t worry. I’m glad she wasn’t alone though. Thanks.”

The air suddenly felt a little awkward, and I wanted it to go back to how it was a moment before. Instead, Conrad continued to talk about her, “Have you met any of her family?”

I felt that was an odd question for him to ask, “no, why would I have met her family?”

“No just wondering. When I invited her for tonight, she said that she’s spending Christmas with her family.” He checked on the turkey, while I was trying to figure out what was actually bothering him.

Then I realized why he was upset and more importantly why he had asked me that, “and you wish she had invited you over to meet them...” He nodded, and I knew I would have felt the same way if I had been in the same situation.

“I don’t know, maybe I wouldn’t have even said yes, if I had heard how she asked it, but she didn’t even ask. I know we haven’t dated that long but it’s been about a month,” he paused, finished preparing the potatoes, and then looked up at me, “I don’t know. I think she could be the one.”

I knew from the sincerity in his eyes that he was being genuine. Then I remembered when Natasha had mentioned Conrad for a moment when we had decorated for the party last weekend. She hadn’t voiced any doubts specifically about him, but she had said how she wouldn’t have dated Conrad if she had known that we were brothers. Was that her way of implying that she wasn’t as happy with him as he was with her, and I had missed that?

I still doubted it because they looked really happy together. Though, I had a hard time reading Natasha, something Conrad and I both now shared. I felt bad for him because I’m sure he had looked forward to finally share Christmas Eve with someone else.

I placed my arm around his shoulder as he continued cooking, “Connie that’s amazing. I’m really happy for you. You deserve it. She’s a lucky lady. And I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Like you said it’s still pretty early so let’s just see what happens later okay?”

Belly walked in with wet hair to check on the turkey, “Wow I’m impressed you two didn’t burn the place down while I was gone, nice work.” She tasted a piece, “mmm it’s perfect. Okay I can finish the rest, go get ready. You guys have less than an hour before people get here.”

I wore a cranberry red sweater with black dress pants, and Conrad wore a forest green dress shirt with dark brown dress pants. When we both got back to the kitchen, a few guests had arrived, and dad had also just gotten here. The dining table was exquisite.

Belly had done an amazing job as she always had. It quite literally felt like a winter wonderland because it also looked like it would also start snowing tomorrow morning.

The entire living room was covered in red, green, and gold decorations, the Christmas tree was covered in gold and emerald ornaments and crystals, but Belly was the most magical sight to see.

She wore a gold long-sleeved crop top and a dark green corduroy mini skirt with beige sparkly tights and mini chestnut brown boots that had heels.

We took some of the guests’ coats to the closet behind the kitchen. The hallway was fairly quiet relative to the rest of the house, and we were pretty much alone, although anyone could have walked past us at any moment. “Funny I was gonna wear those exact same shoes.”

She mocked me, “yeah oh, were you? Yeah funny,” as I moved in closer to her.

She put the last coat inside the closet and shut the door. She turned around with her back now against the door. I placed my right arm on the wall right by her face and placed my left hand right below the bottom of her skirt, “I find it very rude that that’s the perfume you chose to wear tonight.”

“What would you have chosen then?” Her voice grew breathier.  

“The same one. I never said you shouldn’t have worn it.” I softly pressed my lips to hers and slowly kissed my way to her neck, “I just said it was very...” my left hand continued to travel up her skirt, “very...” I laced my fingers in the waistband of her tights as I breathed against her neck, “very rude.”

I heard footsteps, and Belly coughed to distract whoever it was from the scene. It was my aunt, “Merry Christmas Jeremiah! Oh is that Belly?! You look so beautiful honey. Look at those cheeks, you’re absolutely glowing!! I want to know your secret.” 

I tried my best not to laugh, while I knew how mortified Belly probably felt inside, “Merry Christmas Holly!”

I held onto Belly’s waist as we walked out to the dining room, “those cheeks were glowing even more up close.”

I almost felt her grow warmer as she shook her face at me and flipped me off.

Dinner was better than I could have imagined. Everyone appeared to be in a good mood, the food was incredible, and dad looked happier than he had been in years. He wasn’t dating anyone. In fact, he hadn’t dated anyone since mom had passed away. I knew it would sting at first to see him with someone else, but part of me felt that he was still lonely.

I wondered if he had met anyone since but was worried to tell Conrad or me about it. It wasn’t our business since we were all adults now, but I hoped he felt that he could come to us about this. I wasn’t sure Conrad’s opinion on this and was reminded that we hadn’t spent much time in a while only until recently. Somehow, I was sad about all the times we missed spending together but was also happy that those days were past us.

My two aunts were preparing eggnog with Belly, while my two uncles, dad, Conrad, and I were in sitting by the tree. One of my uncles turned to my dad, “Adam, you seeing anyone these days?”

I looked at Conrad, and I was surprised to see that he didn’t look opposed to the idea, “yeah dad, you don’t tell us anything.” He asked his question with sarcasm after drinking almost half his beer.

I couldn’t tell if he was just acting cooler than he was about this since Natasha may have been on his mind.  

My dad joked as he pointed towards Conrad and me, “I need lessons from these guys, they’re the ones that have love lives, not me... hey Con, what happened with Natasha? You told me you were going to bring her tonight, right?”

I guessed they hadn’t had time to discuss this before, and I looked at Conrad as he responded in a reserved manner, “um yeah she had plans with her family from before,” then he got up before dad could ask the follow-up that I was pretty sure he thought he would ask, “do you guys want any beers? No? Ok, I’m going to get one more. I’ll be right back.” 

I had learned from before to let Conrad be alone when he was frustrated but only initially. I would go check on him shortly though to make sure he was okay.

Back to Conrad’s POV:

I stepped outside and sat on the porch. I could see the fog from my breath through the chilly air. I checked my phone and noticed the last message Natasha had sent me. It was the famous Santa gif from the movie Elf and when I saw it, it made me laugh so much that I had forgotten how down I was that she wasn’t here tonight. Her thoughtfulness made me smile knowing she remembered the line from that movie I had quoted when we shared frozen yogurt the day we had first met.   

When the joy died down, and I remembered that she wasn’t with me this evening, I was reminded at how much it would have meant to me.

Back to Jeremiah’s POV:

Almost everyone had already gone to bed. My aunts were drunk from the eggnog and too busy gossiping by the Christmas Tree.  

Belly and I were cleaning up the kitchen when I picked her up in my arms. She giggled with whispers, “they can see us!”

“Oh please, they can only see themselves right now, they don’t even know we exist right now LA LA LA!!!” She placed her fingers against my mouth and laughed when I started kissing them.  

“Could you go for another shower again?” For a second, her widened eyes made me believe that she had thought I was implying that she needed one.

But when she realized what I meant, she grew serious, yet nonchalant, “I believe you still owe me one actually...”

“What are we still doing here then?” I ran up the stairs to our guestroom with her still in my arms as she continued giggling.

The Following Afternoon:

Natasha’s POV:

Mateo and I were about to step onto the ice to practice our routine for sectionals. We were sitting on the cold bleachers listening to last minute notes our coach was filling us with when I got distracted. Belly, Jeremiah, Trusky, and Nina were walking up the bleachers. Nina had told me she might watch practice today, but she never told me that she would bring her double date with her to the rink. After the other night, I also didn’t understand why Belly wanted to come to my practice anyways.  

I must have looked out of it when Mateo snapped his fingers in my face, “hello, what was that??” 

“Uh nothing,” I knew he didn’t buy my response but also didn’t care enough to challenge it.   

He quickly blinked a few times before taking a deep breath, “you ready? Remember don’t turn to your right during the last lift.”

“Yeah, I got it, I know that already.” I was glad he reminded me because I had forgotten.

Our coach told us a few other teams were performing before us, so we waited in our seats until it was our turn. I wished I could avoid their group, but I knew it would have been close to impossible because of Nina. Conrad and I hadn’t had a chance to see each other yet either, even though it was just a day after Christmas Day. It felt awkward now that I’d be seeing Jeremiah again before seeing him.  

My nerves were already getting the best of me, and none of this was even related to skating. I went to use the restroom and then to the snack bar to get a cup of water and was surprised when I saw Belly. “Hey! I didn’t know you were all coming today, what a nice surprise,” I lied about that last part. 

Belly explained, “hey yeah, Trusky, Nina, and Jeremiah and I went out for lunch, and Nina asked us if we wanted to watch you skate. Of course we wanted to, you’re incredible. Jeremiah and I saw you skate the other day for a little bit.”

So she had watched me with him. He had left that part out to me that night, “aw thank you, that’s really sweet.”

Then I complimented her dress from the movie night, “By the way I loved your dress that night. You looked so pretty.”

She did the same, “Thanks, I loved your dress as well.”

I didn’t know what else to say so I just apologized again for the embarrassing moment from the same night, “thanks again for being so cool about the whole dance thing. It was so stupid, and I was so uncomfortable.”

Belly’s POV:

I didn’t know what came over me, but I kind of regretted what I said to her next, “oh yeah, no worries, and you didn’t look that uncomfortable to me.” I nervously laughed softly after I said that.  

Her brows furrowed, and I knew she only held onto that last part, “what do you mean?” 

“No nothing,” Part of wanted to stop, but a bigger part of me knew this would eventually come out, so I had to confess, “you just looked very happy to be dancing with him, happier than I expected,” once I started, it was even harder to stop continuing, so I added more, “you know considering you have a boyfriend.” 

Natasha defended, “I told Conrad right when I spoke to him next. I don’t have anything to hide.”

I was mad now. I saw past her bullshit and snorted, “telling him is one thing, so I’ll give you that, but he wasn’t there when it happened, and I was. I don’t think he would have liked what he saw.”

If she wasn’t pissed before, she was now, “There was nothing to see. Nothing happened. I don’t know what you think you saw, and I don’t know what you mean.”

“I mean it was pretty bold of you to dance with Jeremiah,” I felt empty after saying this to her. It had been on my chest since the moment the slow song had ended that night.

She tried to make a point, “I felt bad, what was I supposed to do with everyone staring at me? And you saw, I wasn’t going to accept until you approved of it. I find it very hypocritical of you to point fingers at me, when it was YOUR fiancé who asked me after all, and if my boyfriend also approved of it, then I don’t understand your problem.”

I tried to remind her, “You didn’t have to accept just because everyone wanted you to. I know you know how much he means to me. What about girl code? I thought we were... I don’t know somewhat friends now. I’d never do that to my friend, even if I had just met her if I knew the context of a relationship.” I paused then continued, “and you know Jeremiah was just trying to be polite.”

She grew more frustrated, “And so was I... it’s funny how you’re bringing up girl code when how you’re speaking to me isn’t very ‘girl code’ to me. You basically gaslit me into thinking it was okay to dance with your boyfriend when you really didn’t want me to. Maybe you should try being honest for a change. You know I have an important routine to do now, and yet here you are, I assume, after following me to tell me all of this right before it when you knew it could affect my concentration so stop with the innocent act.”

It hurt to hear what she said because I knew deep down a lot of it was true. I did see her leave the rink and decided not to wait until after her routine, not intentionally, just out of my impatience. That didn’t justify it though, and now I felt bad about that, but I wasn’t going to admit that to her, not now. Instead, I tried to wrap up my point, “I can see what you’re doing, you know...” 

She looked so confused that I almost believed it, “I’m not sure what you’re trying to say...”

“You know exactly what I’m trying to say,” I added, “Just know we grew up together, and he means everything to me. Conrad’s also been through a lot, and I care deeply about him. I don’t know that much about you, and I don’t know what you’ve also been through-”

She interrupted me and firmly added, “yeah you don’t.”

I took a deep breath and concluded, “my intention wasn’t to be mean here even if it came across like that. I’ve been frustrated about this, and all I’m saying is please stop whatever game you’re trying to play here. It just isn’t fair to any of us, including you because I’ve been where you are, and it hurts like hell when the person you love doesn’t love you back. It took me years to get over that.”

I knew what I said was harsh and could have crossed a boundary. I had never spoken to anyone in my life that way, and I’d probably regret this entire conversation tomorrow, but I felt like I didn’t have anyone to say this to. I didn’t want Jeremiah to know just how insecure I was feeling, not only about us, but more so of myself. I also didn’t want him to think I was this jealous of someone that barely knew him. Because if he knew this, maybe the strength of his feelings for me may have started to dwindle.

I wasn’t focused on the repercussions this conversation would lead for Natasha. Despite everything I had said, I still didn’t want her to be sad either, but in this moment I had chosen to think about myself. The stakes were just too high.

As I headed back to the rink, I realized Natasha mentioned that I should try to be honest for a change. I wondered what she had meant by that.

Back to Natasha’s POV: 

I was speechless. I didn’t respond to Belly’s last words even though I wanted to tell her that she had no right to talk to me the way she had. I walked away hoping I hadn’t missed my routine.

Who did she think she was? I had never met someone so disrespectful before, so entitled acting like they were perfect. She had no clue the hell I’d been through in my life to be where I am now. I had to brush this entire thing off because my future depended on it.  

I waited by Mateo until it was almost our turn. I turned around, and I was convinced Belly knew I’d see them from our seats. A moment later, her lips were on Jeremiah’s and her tongue was in his mouth.

I was livid that Jeremiah didn’t have any blame in any of this. Belly chose to put it all on me, and that wasn’t fair. She decided to bring ‘girl code’ into this when she had done the very opposite in how she approached to talk to me.

I genuinely felt Jeremiah and I had shared a connection when him and Belly had briefly broken up only to later find out that he was just waiting for her to come around.

I didn’t want to see Jeremiah anymore. I knew this would have been close to impossible though since Conrad and him were brothers. At the same time, I felt awful that I had to keep reminding myself who my boyfriend really was. Even referring to Conrad as my boyfriend didn’t feel as I hoped it would have. It hurt knowing the person he liked wasn’t the same girl who was trying to be happy around him.

I shifted my focus back to Mateo as the announcers called us to the ice.

We took our places in the center of the rink. There were a few moments where music played without any skating where I took in a few deep breaths.

When I skated nothing else mattered but the movements and the music, and no one was going to change that for me. Mateo and I skated through our choreography, and everything was going smoothly. As we approached the end of the routine, I turned to the left as he lifted me in the air. As soon as I felt his right arm tighten when he picked me up, I knew I screwed up. I performed the move the original way instead of the updated way, where I was supposed to turn to the right.

This put more weight on his arms, and even though we luckily didn’t fall, I panicked at the thought of him potentially pulling a muscle. If he did, it would have been my fault because for the first time my attention during a skate was not 100% on the ice.

Once the dance ended, by chance my eyes first saw Belly and Jeremiah. This time it had been a pure coincidence, but I was reminded at what I could have just potentially jeopardized. Mateo looked at me panting, “what the fuck was that? I told you-”

I looked at him with genuine guilt, “I know, I’m sorry, it was all my fault, did you pull a muscle?!”

We were still bowing for the crowd as he replied, “yeah I’m fine, but are you sure you’re okay?”

I looked at them through the fire in my eyes as I took my final bow, “I’m fine.”